Saturday, November 3, 2012

Interview with a Dog: The Plot Thickens

Shallow Hal and I are through.

At least on an intimate level anyway. 

I won't front and pretend that I didn't miss the attention, because I did.  I always said he was quite charming and generous.  And when you go from dealing with someone that wasn't doing shyt for you, then go to someone who can be kind of mind blowing.  I liked what Shallow Hal did for me.  A lot.
So when it was over, I'lll admit that I went through a little withdrawal for a couple of days.  I felt a sense of loss.  Not loss on lovey dovey type of level, but a sense of loss from the attention I was getting from him.   It was because I wasn't on some lovey dovey shyt that the feeling didn’t last too long though.  Thank goodness!  Within days I quickly moved on (or went back) to old flames, and dabbled a little more on Black People Meet (BPM). 
To be honest, I was never really OFF the dating scene even when I was dealing with Shallow Hal.  I WASN'T THAT NAIVE.  The man had two other women who had babies literally a month apart!!!  I would have been totally dumb to think that I could scratch my way to the top of that heap of bullshyt.  I didn't want to anyway.  Shallow Hal could not be trusted.  He is a predator of the worst kind, and he is always on a constant search for p*ssy.   And the best thing to do when you're messing with a dude like this, is to shake off any feelings and keep entertaining new applicants.
Within a short time I started to sense that it bothered Shallow Hal that I was out there dating though.  He would ask me all the time how was BPM, and when I would give him the scoop, he would fire back at me with comments like, “I bet you wanna f*ck him don’t you?” Or “Do you think you wanna f*ck him?” and shyt like that.  I wasn’t having sex with anybody that I met on BPM, but I would "hint" that I was or wanted to just to f*ck with him anyway.  Maybe he picked up on my little game because then he shifted to throwing his encounters with his two baby mommas in my face. 

Once he texted me this after Miss New York’s six week post pregnancy waiting period had ended:

“I just got through f*ckin’ New York and it was sooooo good.”

Just out of nowhere I got this text.  At like 11 o'clock on a Saturday night.  Bastard.  He did that shyt to get me mad.  
"Obviously it wasn't that good if you thinking about me right after you f*cked her, you punk."

His bastard ass knew I wasn't interested in whether or not he got the p*ssy from her or not.  The text was meant to f*ck with me.  He was trying to rub it in because I had moved on and he knew that I might soon be taking a ride on someone other than his azz.
But there was another reason why I didn't like his text.  Deep down I hoped that she wouldn't f*ck him and that she would leave his azz alone.  He had dogged her.  For months he had been filing immigration papers and planning a life with Miss C.  He brought her over here from their country, while all the long Miss New York  thought that dude was riding only with her.  I wanted her to cut him off.  Teach him a lesson.  I wanted her to not f*ck him.  I might have even said that to him too once? 

"I hope she leaves you alone after all of this."

I think I did. Maybe that's why he was texting me?   To let me know that he was back in business with her, and that what I hoped for didn't happen.  Who knows.  But what I do know is that the text pissed me off. 

 “Why are you sending me this shyt?  Are you trying to make me jealous? ” 

Eventually he confessed to me that he was slightly jealous that I was starting to date other people.  Say what?  Um you got a lot of nerve you dog!  You're jealous of me talking to other men when you f*ckin' two women?  TWO!!!  Who both know about each other....and still giving yo azz a pass?  And you trying to hate on me?  GTFOH.   That was proof positive that Shallow Hal couldn't handle being on the other side of the game.  He don't want you dating no one else but him, but yet he can do whatever the hell he wants.  Well not with me Mister Man.  He had to learn; you might be the sun, the moon, and the stars to them two gals...but not to me muthafucca.  I keeps it moving, and I can find new dyck just like you can find new p*ssy.   You ain't gotta update me with your p*ssy conquests to prove you still the man without me.  Just stop it.

Thankfully, and as time went on,  he did stop.  On second thought, maybe not completely.  He would still tell me stuff about him being intimate with his two ladies; that never stopped. 
"Yeah we were f*cking all day, then I took a nap.  Then I packed and drove out to Miss New York's house."
I would just sit and listen.   It was when he was casually talking about his sexcapades that he told me about screwing in front of his kids.  As much as I missed his doting ways, after that confession I just couldn’t get the image out of my head of him f*ckin’ Miss C while the little ones probably looked on.  I just couldn't.  I know to this day Shallow Hal wishes he never told me that.  That information definitely changed the game for me.  I was turned off.  Permanently. 

And that's when things had officially shifted between us. 
I mean the 'real' friend zone, not the 'friends with benefits' zone.  Of course if I was down to give up the booty Shallow Hal would definitely take it, and of course he would always try.  But I wasn't feeling it anymore.  I didn't really have anyone new in my life either, but the desire I had for him became nonexistent.  Plus I honestly felt like taking a break from dudes anyway.  The friend zone was a seamless transition for me and him, and I kinda liked that. 
We communicated pretty much every day.  He would call me while he was driving to work in the morning.  Sometimes he would call in the evening too.  During the day there were a flurry of emails between us, and by the end of a typical day we would probably send 20-40 emails to each other -- maybe even more.   I’m surprised I even got any work done most days. 

The subjects varied but most times the conversations were usually about him of course.  Hal loves to talk about himself. 
Or somebody he knows. 
Or somebody he used to date. 
Or his sister. 
Or his brother --- who is another f*cked up individual.  Don't you know this man DETESTS Black women?  His family brought his azz  from his country to have a better life, he grew up and served in the armed forces, then has the nerve to turn around and hate on Black women.  Hard.   Openly hard.  In fact he is totally disgusted and turned off by anything Black.  Including chicks from his own country.  So it's no surprise that he will only date Caucausians or Latinas.   Half his age at that.    After hearing this, I seriously wondered how Hal and his brother grew up.  What in the world was going on in THAT house because how these two deal with women cannot be a coincidence.  I'll probably never know.  Maybe it's a cultural thing with women for them.  I dunno.
So like I said, if I started to talk about any personal experience that I had, Shallow Hal would always manage to turn the conversation around where it would be him running his mouth about HIS EXPERIENCE instead.  LOL.  Whenever this happened, I would silently chuckle at his level of self-centeredness.  I understood the kind of person that I was dealing with though.  Shallow Hal always, always, always thinks about himself.  I noticed that it was difficult for him to listen very long about someone else, particularly women.  Now is that a bad thing?  I would say no, but only if that self-absorbed mindset doesn’t impact other people.  Of course this is not the case for Shallow Hal. 

In fact, Shallow Hal is a user.   He is a charming and handsome manipulator who has impacted the lives of everyone around him.  He changed the lives of two innocent females who believed that he loved them…and them only.  Hell he has even impacted my life too, so much so that I am sitting here writing about him right now.  Knowing I have a boatload of shyt to do for myself, I am using MY TIME to blog about his shyt.  And I ain't even getting paid!!!!
(rolls eyes)