Monday, August 30, 2010

Blow Job 101 - Part II: The Man's G-Spot

Posting about this BJ thing is like having a monkey on my back.  It's not like I have a huge following and that people are sweating me for the details from the BJ class I took, but I guess it is just unfinished business that I feel I need to handle.

SIDENOTE:
I went to the bar last night and had like five drinks (cuz people kept buying them for me).  Then I took a detour before going home and I scratched and dented my car when I was going thru the drive thru at the mothafuckn White Castle.  I knew I should not have taken my azz there!   But noooooo.....I just had to have that damn fish sandwich didn't I?  Mad as hell.  It has only been 10 months since I bought the car too.  It only has 3,600 miles on it but about close to that amount in damage already.  Ridiculous.  So of course I'm feelin' like a real azz this morning:

And I barely remember eating the damn fish sandwich so it must not have been all that anyway.  Lesson learned.  Don't take that many drinks and attempt to drive in a tight azz driveway through lane.  I guess it is my just deserves for accepting those free drinks because it will cost me a lot of money in the long run.
Now back this blow job thang.

P. Dicky (the instructor) gave some info on a few techniques and I could get into those but I don't feel like typing all of that because it was like ten of them!  The one that stood out in mind though, which was to HUM.  He even had us practice doing that on the cucumbers that he gave us.  He said that the vibrations from humming is a definite stimulator for a fella.  He said to slide your lips down about an inch and then just do a basic "Mmmmmmm."  Plus it also let's dude know that you are enjoying pleasuring him.  Okay that sounds easy enough.  Cool.

But what was really the head banger (pun intended) was this whole man G-spot thing.  I'll be honest, I never really thought about where a man's G-spot was in all my life.  I thought their entire d*ck was their G-spot.  LOL.  They sure act like it is.  I thought that it was just a female thing because you always hear how women say, "Oooh, that's my spot."  I never heard a dude say that though!  Hmmm...on second thought, maybe I have.  Hey Louis!  *waves*

Well P Dicky definitely enlightened me that night.  Instead if calling it a G-spot, he called it a He-Spot.  And where would that be????

In his booty. 

(insert booty pic here)
Ummm, on second thought I'm not gonna do that.  I Googled man booty pics and it took things to a whole 'nother level. 

Well actually it's the prostrate, which is located inside the anus.  In order to stimulate the prostate, you need to take your lubricated finger and put it inside his anus.  The make the motion with your finger as if to say "come here."  According to the Professor, this will drive a man crazee.  But he did acknowledge that most men ain't gonna be down with this, and you can't just start doing it to him either.  He said the basic test is this:  move your hand lightly across his booty cheek.  As you get closer to the spot, if his butt clenches up....




Go no further and retreat immediately.

But all is not lost!  An alternative though to this He-Spot stimulation is right before he comes, run the pad of your index finger up and down the skin between his testicles and his anus.  Apply just a slight bit of pressure when you do it.  Ok that sounds simple enough.  I ain't skerred to try it.  Anyway, I had this one boyfriend that didn't mind you touching his booty hole.  In fact, he told me to do that and he would be moaning and all that too.  I didn't make the connection that it was his HE-spot though.  That man had me doing everything anyway and I was like this mindless sex robot for him.  He was also the one that talked about threesomes with his friends...

*clears throat*

Oh that doesn't matter now anyway.  I wonder what he is doing now though?  Hmmmm.  Louis, Louis, Louis.  He was so damn fine.  Cute face.  Sexy body.  I don't know what it was, but that nicca was like a drug to me.  He was very open minded about a lot of stuff and I guess that's what made it all kinda wild and interesting. 
What I realized after attending this class was this....MEN ARE NOT OPEN MINDED ABOUT SEX AND THEIR BODIES, BUT THEY EXPECT WOMEN TO BE A LEAST 'OPEN' TO IT.   It's okay for us to take it anywhere right?  The coochie; the mouth; the azz.  It's all right for us to do it with other girls, do threesomes, do it with fingers, foreign objects, bottles, dildos, etc.  I mean how many p*ssy lickin' classes or websites do you think exist for men out there?  But I bet if you Google blow job there would be plenty of info on how to please a man.  I'm not angry about it or anything like that, it is just amazing how women have done it all in terms of sex.   But what do men do to reciprocate our open mindedness?  Or do we women even require it? 

Hmmmmm....

I would say we probably don't expect men to be open minded about sex and their bodies.  I like using toys and men even have an issue with that sometimes.  "What I can't satisfy you myself?"  Ummm...no comment.  It's like they think their d*ck is all you need, but that is not always the case.  Sorry boo boo.

In reality though, a man's bag of tricks doesn't have to be as varied as ours I guess.  I'm sure that some men just want women to do the basic moves anyway --- riiiight?  Trying new stuff can actually be risky, because if you come up with something different he might start ackin' jealous and holler, "Where you learn that shyt from!?  Who you been with?"  

"You ain't teaching me nothing so I did some research to help pleasure yo' azz and now you wanna get pissy about it?  Ok forget it then." 

Then of course lata after he has thought about it his azz will be asking,"Why don't you do that thing you did last week?"  Ooooh, so you DID like it after all huh?  Nah, bruh.  You acted like a fool about it so you gets no more of that.  Shut him down...but not for good.  Let him marinate on the error of his ways, and revisit the technique in a few weeks or months.  He just needs to go on punishment for a while so that he understands to keep his damn mouth closed the next time you try something new on him. 

So there's part three.  I guess I need to try to find some pictures to put in this post, but I can't do it now because I'm at work.  So for now, the picture of the donkey will have to do.

ONE MORE THING!  According to P. Dicky, a hooked/curved d*ck is better than an straight one.  It does that 'come here' thing like I described above, which hits the female G-spot and makes ya 'squirt' - which is supposed to be the bomb.  That's why those sex toys and dildos are sometimes a little curved at the tip!  Woooow!  And I always thought a crooked d*ck was NOT a good thing...go figure.

*eyes widen*

5 comments:

  1. I am laughing so hard right NOW!
    You are hilarious!

    You really took a BJ class? P dicky Bwhahahahaha! I'm gonna try that he spot thang but only when he about to cum. Great info!

    Sorry about your car! Be safe and more careful

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  2. Always have been curious about the curved ones...*devilish grin*

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  3. Hi GorgeousPuddin...thanks for following today.

    Yep, I went to a BJ class about two months ago I think. It has just taken FOREVER for me to type about it. Too many other thangs have been on my mind, but I made three blog posts so I think that's gonna be it?

    And thanks for comment about my car. Boy am I mad at myself. I guess I'll be taking my bartending tips to use towards the dent repair.

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  4. oooh....and Gorgeous...can you let me know what happens when you try that biz? I may give it a test run myself....TONIGHT!

    (rubs hands together; smiles devilishy)

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  5. Curvy!!!

    Thanks for putting me on your blog roll btw (if I haven't said that already to ya).

    As for the crooked cocks...I have happened upon one or two of them in my travels. I wonder did they know what P. Dicky says about them though? I think it might be time for another Google search.

    And speaking of Google...lawd knows what the person from Rabat, Rabat Sale searched on to get here tonight. LOL!

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